


fanboy

by riceballs



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, but in no ways dark, fansite au, more introspective if anything, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23372326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riceballs/pseuds/riceballs
Summary: Hyunjin is an idol. Seungmin is his fansite.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin & Kim Seungmin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 114





	fanboy

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I've been writing this for maybe a good six months now. i was a bit hesitant bc i know there's a bit of fansite drama lately and wasn't sure how i felt about posting this. that being said, it's not dark in any way, but rather... slightly introspective?

Seungmin knew he shouldn’t have replied. 

Generally speaking, sunshine_jin was considered a peaceful fansite. He never got into any fanwars, wasn’t on any JYPE blacklists, or ever talked bad about the other members. In fact, most of SKZ’s fans would agree sunshine_jin was the go-to fansite for HQ pictures of 4K videos without the added fear of stumbling upon a Hyunjin _akgae._

Of course, there were always those who still disliked him, going out of their way to comment mean words and insults on his pictures, telling him to drop Hyunjin and leave the fandom. 

Usually, Seungmin would ignore them. He knew of the criminalization of fansites that often happened, with the majority of them often crossing lines and turning into morally grey fans of their respective groups. He wouldn’t deny it but personally tried to steer clear of those types, vowing not to turn into one himself. All he wanted to do was watch Hyunjin perform, taking pictures and videos of him in motion. 

But there was just so much Seungmin could take, and when someone had left a snide remark that his photobook project for Hyunjin’s birthday was nothing more than a money-making scheme and that fans should not trust that the proceeds were going to adopting a llama in Hyunjin’s name, well, it did hurt more than Seungmin was used too. 

Being called an anti of Hyunjin was the last straw however. If there was one thing Seungmin hated the most, it was those who doubted his love for SKZ, and his admiration for Hyunjin. 

Angrily, he took his phone, stalked over to his bookshelf, and snapped a photo of his collection of SKZ albums. He opened his twitter, furiously tapping away his reply, and at 9:23 pm, he had successfully uploaded his proof shot, along with the scornful words _Is this enough to show you I am a fan?_ Satisfied with his answer, he threw his phone onto his bed and pushed the whole incident out of his mind. 

  
  


\---

  
  
  


At 9:25 pm, the first comment came in.

_ehh?? is that a sopa uniform hanging next to the shelf?_

By 9:27 pm, a few more appeared. 

_omg, it is!! wait does this mean sunshine_jin is a sopa student??_

_no way!! what are the chances that hyunjin’s fansite goes to his school haha_

_woah... i wonder if this means she’s actually TALKED to hyunjin oppa too_

_what if she’s close with him??_

_ugh, this bitch better not be using her school uniform just to talk to sweet hyunjin oppa!!!_

By 10:40 pm, the post had reached 700 retweets and even more comments, as the photo began to spread amongst the SKZ fandom, then other JYPE fandoms, before reaching the twitter timeline of one of the biggest GOT7 international sites, who commented - 

_JYP needs to look into this, it's possible that a Hyunjin fansite is stalking Hyunjin._

\- followed by a thread of a dozen more tweets showing “proof” that sunshine_jin could possibly be a _sasaeng._

The thread is translated back into Korean by 11:53 pm, as the thread goes viral and the original post reaches retweets in the thousands. It gets posted onto PANN by 12:24 am, titled _SKZ’s fansite stalking Hyunjin at school._

The Korean media pay no attention, with SKZ barely making waves in its home country, but English kpop media sites do, typing up quick hits and soon enough, articles begin to pop up across kpop forum boards, as overseas fans stalk to twitter with rage and vindication and add to the comments already flooding sunshine_jin’s page. 

And that is how by lunchtime in Australia, Felix is scrolling through his feed when he stumbles upon an article by Soompi, titled _SKZ Hyunjin’s Fansite Possibly Stalking Hyunjin, Fans Demand Response._

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


_@darknsweet811 has sent you a direct message._

Seungmin blinks at the notification on his phone screen. He doesn’t have it on for anyone except for SKZ themselves, his best friend Felix, and this Changbin fansite he met at a festival once, the only other male there for SKZ. Felix sends texts through KakaoTalk - in fact, there are a few from him that Seungmin will have to check later - and Minho hardly ever messages Seungmin, with their usual line of communication being Seungmin asking Minho for something and not the other way around. 

The first thing he sees is the number of notifications he has. As a fansite, it’s common to have over a thousand, but Seungmin doesn’t remember posting any new photos or videos that would warrant that many. Ignoring them for a moment, he heads to his DM’s. 

The second thing he sees is the barrage of new messages he has there. Seungmin curses his bilingualism for the first time, because it feels odd to be cursed out not only in his native Korean but also in English as well, not to mention he has a feeling the other languages he sees but cannot read are saying the same thing. 

The panic in him rises, as he racks his brains for what this means while scrolling down for Minho’s message. 

In typical Minho fashion, there are no words, but rather, a photo of a bookshelf with a circle around the side. Seungmin peered closer to see what Minho had made a mark of. He feels his heart drop. 

The bookshelf is his own. He recognizes the multiple copies of SKZ’s albums lined across the middle two shelves, almost a dozen of each. There’s the signed one that Minho gave him as a gift from their last comeback precariously on display at the top shelf, right next to his collection of all the iterations of their lightstick he has collected. He can even see the bottom shelf with all his own fansite goods in it, a rough copy of his planned photobook looking mockingly at him. 

But before all that, the first thing he sees is the unmistakable yellow of his school uniform, bundled up next to the bookcase. Usually, it would be in his closet, but he had been too tired last night to properly put it away, too tired to notice where he had thrown it at, too tired to realize that - in his momentary flash of anger - the uniform was still in the corner where it was last night when he took his picture to post on twitter. 

But now, he was definitely wide awake and alert to know that it was clear as day the yellow uniform thrown carelessly on the side was the same color as the one Hyunjin was often seen in, as the only SKZ member who still went to school at Seoul’s School of Performing Arts. 

  
  


\---

  
  


**Felix Lee**

seungmin whatever you do don’t go on twitter okay? 

one of your photos went viral i think but not in like a good way 

some trash websites are saying shit about you pls don’t read them

hey seungmin pls call me when you can okay

  
  


\---

  
  


Seungmin ignores Felix’s advice but instead was spending even more time on twitter now, careful not to press anything to give his activity away but obsessively taking note of everything that people were saying. Minho had talked him out of deleting the photo, telling him that it was too late for that, and his bookshelf and uniform were all over the internet now. He clicks through all the PANN posts and reactions and spends his time working his way through the English language articles about him. For the most part, the consensus is that sunshine_jin - SKZ member Hyunjin's biggest fansite - is a girl who goes to SOPA alongside the singer.

(Seungmin thanks his lucky stars that his uniform pants were out of frame.)

Wild theories run rampant for quite a while. Some people say sunshine_jin is in the same class as Hyunjin, pulling strings with the school administrators. Others say she’s an underclassman who applied for SOPA because of Hyunjin, cheating her way through the examinations in order to ensure her attendance. The most extra of them all spin a story of Hyunjin acting kind towards sunshine_jin, leading to an unhealthy obsession from her towards Hyunjin.

Seungmin wonders dryly what the gossipers would say if they saw sunshine_jin now, sitting at the same table with Hyunjin at lunch, watching as he stuffs his mouth with school lunch while complaining about Bang Chan’s tortuous recording session. 

Contrary to what they may see however, Seungmin and Hyunjin are not close. He may be in the same grade as the singer, but is in a separate class. Hyunjin never stays in school for extracurriculars either, meaning in reality, Seungmin should never cross paths with Hyunjin. 

In fact, the only reason Hyunjin even knew Seungmin existed was because of Jeongin. Yang Jeongin, who was a fellow trainee at JYP before he didn’t make it into the final debut team and subsequently decided to try his luck elsewhere. However, his friendship with Hyunjin remained, and whenever Hyunjin could make it to school - Jeongin always made it an effort to invite the singer to eat with Jeongin, and as of late, Seungmin as well. Jeongin’s new company’s dorms were located nearby Seungmin’s apartment, and after realizing how close they were to each other, they began to travel to school together - which led to them hanging out more, even eating lunch together despite being in separate grades. 

But that didn’t mean Seungmin was close with Hyunjin at all. In fact, it was entirely possible that the singer didn’t even know Seungmin’s name. He had been quietly sitting down beside Jeongin, letting the two catch up, considering this was the first time Hyunjin had been in school after SKZ’s latest promotions. Seungmin saw Jeongin every day, he didn’t feel the need to be a part of the conversation. 

Behind him are a group of girls whispering about the idol, and Seungmin tries not to flinch when he hears his name - or rather, fansite name - brought up multiple times. With the way Hyunjin’s smile keeps dropping lower and lower, it was without a doubt that Hyunjin also heard. 

Jeongin rolled his eyes at the girls. “You’d think they’d learn to be a bit more considerate, wouldn’t you?” He leaned forward, angling himself away from the girls so they couldn’t hear. “But hey, the issue got pretty big, hasn’t it? It’s all over PANN, and not just fantalk too.”

Seungmin looked away, trying to mask his nervous curiosity with an indifferent look. He and Felix had spent all of last night wondering what action JYPE might take against Seungmin, since there was no way the company hadn’t heard of the incident yet.

Hyunjin sighed. “Honestly, I think it only got so big because of what happened earlier this year, where that crazy guy tried to poison Jaebum sunbaenim. The company’s in a bit of a frenzy now, since everyone’s still angry about how they handled that.”

“So are they… are they going to contact the fansite or something?” Seungmin blurted out, trying to still keep an air of disinterest while internally going crazy at what Hyunjin might say. He knew he shouldn’t be asking, knew it went against everything he stood for - but he was so scared of what was to come that he couldn’t help but need to know. 

Neither Hyunjin or Jeongin seemed to notice his internal battle however. Hyunjin barely glanced over as he answered, “Not sure honestly. I mean, Channie hyung said it might not have been a SOPA uniform, and that this is all just a big mixup coupled with fans paranoia.”

“Oh but I saw the photo, that was totally a SOPA uniform,” Jeongin leaned over, throwing his arms around Hyunjin's shoulder. “Just think, the girl could be in our midst right now, secretly watching you from the corner of her eye, nervous at the possibility of being discovered but excited at how you have finally noticed her, that she may finally have a chance with Prince Hyunjin of SOPA…”

“Oh shut it,” Hyunjin laughed, pushing Jeongin’s arms off his. “This isn’t one of those cheesy romance fiction.” 

_Most definitely not_. Seungmin thought dryly, as he poked at his food even more, watching as Jeongin teasingly pointed out girls in their lunch room, wondering out loud if one of them was the infamous sunshine_jin. Because there was no way he could foresee a happy ending after all this.

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


“I don’t think they’re going to message me or anything,” Seungmin sighs, turning the page in his textbook idly but not retaining anything on the page. He could hear Felix hum in acknowledgment on the other end of the call. 

“I mean, it only really blew up ‘cause of the whole poisoning incident GOT7 had before. Technically speaking, you did nothing wrong. You were a student before SKZ even debuted, and it’s just a coincidence that you’re a fansite for a SOPA idol. It’s not like you’re stalking him at school or trying to befriend him for selfish purposes or whatever.”

Seungmin stays silent at that, wondering if he should let Felix know that just that day, he was eating lunch with the subject of his twitter obsession. He decides against it. 

“I think you should just lay low for a while, wait for this to die down before you do anything SKZ related again.” Felix continues. 

“...Yeah…” Seungmin knows his voice sounds hesitant, and Felix - being the best friend that he is - picks up on it right away. 

“Seungmin…” he can practically see the frown on Felix’s face, a stark contrast to his usual nonchalant attitude. “You did hear me right? No SKZ activities until this all dies down. That means you _do not_ go to that festival next week, okay?” 

There’s silence on both ends. Felix lets out an exasperated chuckle. 

“Even after all this trouble, you still can’t stay away from Hyunjin, can you.”

Seungmin doesn’t respond to that, though both Felix and himself know what his answer would be. It has been the same answer since the first time Seungmin saw Hyunjin perform, during a trip to Hongdae where a pre-debut SKZ had been busking. SKZ fans would always rave about Hyunjin’s top-tier looks, his sharp yet fluid movements, or his flirtatious confidence as the reason why he was the group’s most popular member. But to Seungmin, those weren’t the reasons why he had lifted his camera that day and took his first photo. 

Rather, it was how he worked with the music as if they were two beings dancing together, and not just as a dancer following a beat. Seungmin couldn’t lie and say Hyunjin was the best dancer in the industry - in fact, he was pretty sure Minho would argue that Hyunjin wasn’t even the best in SKZ - but there was something in his movements that captivated Seungmin, who saw past the techniques and execution to find an artistic passion that emanated from Hyunjin’s dance.

As a photography major, Seungmin was always looking for ways to breathe life into his photographs, and that day, he found it in Hyunjin. 

  
  
  
  


\---

  
  
  
  


It’s never hard to spot Minho in the crowd at an SKZ event. Sure, the fact that he’s a male amongst a sea of fangirls is one reason, but Minho also has a certain aura to him that radiates with a kind of external confidence and pride. It’s a clear opposite from Seungmin - who prefers to stay as anonymous behind his camera as possible. Despite this difference, the two fansites get along well (though the fact that they’re often the only two males at any given SKZ event was a bigger reason). 

Having this close camaraderie with Minho came in handy when it came to attending concerts or festivals. He’s not sure what type of connections Minho has (Felix swore he saw Minho performing as a backup dancer a long while ago, while Seungmin thinks Minho is probably just rich), but often times you could find Minho front and center at these events, and he always saved a spot for Seungmin - something Seungmin would always graciously take. 

Today however, Minho walked over to where Seungmin was instead, grinning as he wiped his lense. “Where’s your baby?” He joked, motioning to Seungmin’s empty hands. 

“You didn’t have to give up your spot to stand with me,” Seungmin mumbles as a reply instead, watching as a group of fansites clamored for where Minho previously was. “And it’s not like I can post anything right now, so I figured it wasn’t worth it to bring my camera today.”

“Pity, I always look forward to your posts after performances.” Minho looked through his viewfinder, frowning slightly as he adjusted another setting. “You always make your photos look so good like they’re alive or something. Oh look, SKZ is here.”

_As if the screams didn’t tell me that already_ , Seungmin thinks dryly, watching as the members greet their fans with hearts and flying kisses. 

(Besides him, he can see Minho fake-retching, and slightly smiles at that. Just another thing that the two only males at SKZ events always could relate too. He won’t lie and say his heart hasn’t fluttered at some of the fanservice SKZ gives, but there’s a certain point and _aegyo_ is way past that.)

“By the way, I have some Hyunjin shots from the _Anyang_ fansign, did you want them?” Seungmin gives a pointed glance at Minho, who laughs. “Figured I would ask, I only take them for you anyways.” 

“Thanks, but I feel like posting pictures from a fansign is a million times worse than from a festival at this point.” Seungmin never attended any SKZ fansign, a combination of having no time, no money, and - as of late - a fear that Hyunjin would recognize him and make a connection to sunshine_jin. However, Minho protested that Seungmin couldn’t be a proper fansite without fansign photos, and every fansign he would make sure to snap a few of Hyunjin for Seungmin to post. Seungmin had always been grateful, considering fansign antics always helped boost his followers, but it had become a problem as of late, with a newfound realization that sunshine_jin - recently exposed to be a SOPA “female” student - was actually “attending” fansigns where the object of her affection was, with fans wondering how _exactly_ she was getting in. Seungmin has grown used to the hate that he was getting, but the implications that arose which only put Hyunjin’s name in a bad light made him feel more guilty than before. 

“Hey,” Seungmin broke away from his thoughts, to see Minho handing his camera to him. “Since you’re not going to be taking photos for your site, take mine then. You’re good at that motion shit, better than me at least. Just remember, I’m a _Changbin_ fansite.” Seungmin rolled his eyes but still took the camera from Minho, tsk-ing slightly at his settings before adjusting them. He had the viewfinder up to his eye, feeling a sense of calamity come over him. And yet, as he snapped away, a bittersweet lump began to form in his throat.

While photography was his interest, taking snapshots of Hyunjin in movement had become his passion. There was no telling what was to come, what the consequences of his actions would be. However, it was the prospect of never having a chance to take photos of Hyunjin again that scared Seungmin the most.

  
  
  


\---

  
  


_@darknsweet811 sent you a message_

you really are a changbin anti huh 

why dont your other photos ever look as good as your hyunjin ones 

  
  


\---

“Hey, Seungmin-ssi!”

Blinking twice, Seungmin turned to see Hyunjin waving at him. His first thought is that Hyunjin _knows_ , and he begins panicking. But Hyunjin is smiling at him, albeit a bit sheepish, and Seungmin wills away his fear as he nods in acknowledgment to the other. 

“You know the visual arts showcase everyone is talking about?” Seungmin nodded again. Despite their school's focus on performing arts, there was always an annual event for anyone more geared towards the visual aspects, something that Seungmin himself always submitted work for. 

“Uh, do you know the exact date of it?” Hyunjin asked. Seungmin blinked, and Hyunjin - who most likely interpreted it as confusion - continued, “Sorry if I surprised you, it’s just that my manager is asking right now because our promotions are ending soon and I might have a bit more free time. I always wanted to go to more school events you know, so when I heard about the showcase I really wanted to go see what others have done, but he wants to make sure it doesn’t happen on the same day I have to MC, but Jeonginnie hasn’t answer me yet and I just happened to see you-”

“Hey, no worries, let me check the date for you.” Seungmin took out his phone, swiping up to look for his calendar app. 

“Oh!” 

Seungmin looked quizzically over at Hyunjin. Blushing at being caught, Hyunjin gestured over at Seungmin’s phone, turning his head slightly away. 

“I-It’s just... your friend is very handsome… that’s all.” he mumbled. Seungmin looked down on his screen, where a photo of him and Felix was staring back up at him. 

“Oh yeah, that’s my friend Felix. He actually models part-time in Australia, so I guess you’re not the only one who thinks that.” 

“Oh, Aussie! Just like Chan-hyung!”

“Yeah, he’s a big fan of Chan-ssi because of that. Got super excited when you guys went to Sydney for your tour, said it felt like a ‘mate was coming home’ or something like that.” Seungmin had been to that concert as well, as a treat to himself to see SKZ in concert both outside of Korea and with one of his best friends. It had been one of his most favorite concerts, where he hadn’t bothered taking any photos at all, but instead let himself enjoy the performances themselves, while he and Felix had the time of their lives singing and dancing along. 

Hyunjin went quiet for a moment. “Your friend… he’s… he’s a fan of ours?” Seungmin froze, cursing himself for oversharing. 

“Y...yeah..” he replied quietly. Hyunjin seemed conflicted for a moment, and Seungmin couldn’t blame him. SKZ always treated their fans like family regardless of age, race, or gender, but he knew there would always be a certain line that had to be drawn between them, especially considering the recent (Seungmin winced at the thought) fansite controversy that Hyunjin was having. 

“Did you tell him that you’re friends with me?” Hyunjin’s tone was light, but even Seungmin could hear the underlying worry behind Hyunjin’s words. He shook his head no vigorously however. 

“Of course not, because in all honesty, I don’t really know you.” It came out a bit ruder than Seungmin wanted, but he needed to get his point across. “I only ever talk to you because of Jeongin-ssi, but it’s not like we’re friends or anything. It doesn’t seem fair to use your name as brownie points with Felix, and, well, your life in school is separate from the Hwang Hyunjin that Felix knows. It wouldn’t feel right to share anything I do know about you to Felix.” Realizing his ramblings had gotten more personal than he wanted, Seungmin added, “Not to mention, he’s a Chan-ssi fan. He’d probably like to know more about him rather than you.”

It was a poor joke, but Hyunjin still giggled, a slightly brighter expression on his face. “Well, out of all of us, Chan hyung is the biggest open book. Not sure there isn’t much more your friend can know about him.” Rubbing at his neck awkwardly, Hyunjin bit his lip as he continued, “Though you know, I am… I’m glad you don’t… don’t talk to him about me in school or anything like that. I mean, I’m definitely glad he’s a fan and everything, just… I mean, you know… with everything happening...” he trailed off suddenly. Seungmin froze at the implication. 

“But hey, you can definitely tell him you know me at least! I mean, putting up with me at lunch has got to count for something right?” Hyunjin ended with a laugh, a wide grin on his face. Seungmin could only return a weak smile. 

“But yeah uh, thanks I guess. My manager is waiting for me, but I’ll see you tomorrow!” Hyunjin waves at Seungmin before abruptly taking off down the hallway he came from, leaving Seungmin feeling a sense of guilt arise from his gut. 

He had meant every word he said, how he wanted to keep the Hwang Hyunjin he knew in school separate from the SKZ member that he admired. But that didn’t change the fact that they were in fact one, that the SOPA prince Hwang Hyunjin who Seungmin would awkwardly eat lunch with at times, was the same as SKZ member Hwang Hyunjin who captured the hearts of fans with his mesmerizing visuals and captivating dance. 

No matter how much Seungmin tried to tell himself that the personas were completely different, now that the two Hyunjin’s in his life had converged into the same person, Seungmin was afraid of how much harder it would be to separate himself into the two personalities that interacted with Hyunjin. Because as much as he tried to keep his awkward acquaintanceship with his schoolmate separate from his secret fansite admiration for the SKZ member, it seemed that the time had come for Seungmin to make a choice between the two. And as much as it hurt him to think about it, he knew which decision he ultimately needed to make. 

  
  


\---

  
  
  
  
  


_@sunshine_jin sent you a message_

Minho hyung, I need you to help me with something.

  
  
  
  
  
  


\---

  
  
  
  
  


Despite how desperately Minho tried to talk him out of it, Seungmin found himself outside of SKZ’s _Daegu_ fansign hall, the number ticket in his hand wrinkled to tears. 

“I’m telling you, this is really going to backfire on you,” he hears Minho grumble next to him and rolls his eyes. 

“You didn’t have to help me then.” he hisses in response. Minho scoffs but doesn’t reply to that, considering it was the truth. After he told Minho that he wanted to attend one of SKZ’s fansigns, the elder hadn’t responded until two weeks later, where he sent Seungmin the list of fans for the _Daegu_ fansign. Seungmin’s email was listed right there on the bottom. 

(Seungmin didn’t even want to think about what Minho had to do - or spend - to help get Seungmin here.) 

“Just close sunshine down and open a new one, that’s what everyone does nowadays.” 

Seungmin whips his head up. “Shut up hyung, people will hear you.” He scanned the other fans around on line, but thankfully no one was paying attention to the two of them. 

He sighs, looking back down at the wrinkled note in his hand. “Look, you don’t have to understand my reasoning, but I really have to do this, or I’ll feel guilty for the rest of my life,” he said. “It’s been honestly eating away at me, and I’m not sure how I can proceed after this so…” The unspoken words were loud and clear to the both of them. There was no telling what would happen to sunshine_jin - or even what would happen to Seungmin after today - so Seungmin felt he would be selfish just once more. The one thing he had never done the entire time he was an SKZ fan was attend an actual fansign, so having that possibly the last thing he does as a fan was bittersweet at most. 

His number was fairly close to the front, so he sat in the second row, a cap pulled down low as he tried to blend in with the crowd. It was hard to do, if only because he was one of the two males in a room full of girls, and he also sat next to Minho, who - as Seungmin was beginning to notice, was fairly popular with most of the regulars at SKZ fan events. 

Time passed in a blur for him, as more and more fans passed through the members and came back down with signed albums. Hyunjin would be the first member he would pass, which only made Seungmin even more anxious. Maybe if Hyunjin was last, or sandwiched between two others, it would have been easier to approach him. But facing him first seemed quite similar to ripping a bandage straight off skin, and Seungmin never liked the feeling of quick yet intense pain like so. 

Finally, it was his turn. With a pat on the back from Minho, Seungmin set off to the stage robotically, only putting one foot in front of the other as he made his way to Hyunjin. 

“Oh, Seungmin-ssi!” Hyunjin grinned brightly at him, his eyes crinkling happily. Seungmin gulped at the greeting, returning it with his own feeble smile. For the past week, he had been subtly dropping hints about this fansign, in hopes to not surprise Hyunjin with his sudden appearance. He told Hyunjin about wanting to get a signed album for Felix, without using his “connections” to Hyunjin for one. Hyunjin had seemed happy at this, pleased at how Seungmin was staying true to his words from before. 

Seungmin doubted that Hyunjin would feel the same after what he was about to do. 

“Guess you really did come all the way here for Felix-ssi. He must really be a good friend of yours.” Hyunjin opened Seungmin’s album on his photo page, poised to start signing it for him. “Do you think you could spell it for me though? I don’t want to get the spelling wrong on such a nice gift for your friend.” Hyunjin’s smile was bright, so much that Seungmin almost wanted to forget what he was going to do and let himself stay in his fantasy for a little while longer. 

But he also knew he couldn’t do that. Concentrating hard on the table in front of him, he bit his lip, ignoring the internal fight he was having inside and focusing on his next words instead.

“Seungmin? Did you hear me? Mind telling me how to spell Felix-ssi’s name-”

“D-Do you think- could you- could you make it out to Sunshine Jin instead?”

Hyunjin paused, and for a slight moment, Seungmin realizes that revealing himself to Hyunjin in such a public place may not have been a good idea. The managers hovering behind them could hear, or other fans might see the change in Hyunjin’s face, or maybe Hyunjin himself would scream at him in anger and- 

“To sunshine jin?” Seungmin blinked. Hyunjin’s face was back to his normal idol face, an entertainer's smile poised perfectly on his face. It didn’t quite reach his eyes, but Seungmin was at least grateful for the lack of a major reaction. 

“Y-yes.” he managed to mumble out. Hyunjin only nodded at that, his practice signature quick and fluid on the page. 

“Thanks for coming.” Hyunjin finally said. In a lower voice, he continued, “My managers are staring because you look like you want to be anywhere but here.” Seungmin gulped and trained his face into a more confident one. It did nothing for the anxiety still growing inside him. But if this was the last time he could properly look Hyunjin in the eyes and finally put his uneasy heart to rest, he couldn’t afford to keep quiet and ruin his chance. 

He took in a deep breath, looking Hyunjin straight in the eyes. “I just wanted to say,” the managers had finally moved away from behind Hyunjin, but the girl in front of him had finished, and Jisung was now looking his way, already reaching out for the album in front of Hyunjin. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to turn out this way.” 

Hyunjin opened his mouth but seemed at a loss for words. Seungmin saw a manager coming over to move him down the line, but knew he had to say just one more thing. 

“And also, thank you. Because you really brought me great happiness every time I saw you perform, and I hate that in the end, all I can offer you is this measly thank you for everything you’ve done for me.” With that, he slid down to the next seat, blinking away the wave of emotion threatening to spill out of him. He looked up, trying to focus on Jisung instead.

“Hi there! Welcome! Who am I making this out too?” Seungmin only saw Jisung’s mouth move but hardly anything else registered in him besides the heated stare from Hyunjin that was making his face burn. He thought he would have felt a sense of relief now that the secret was out of the bag and the guilt had finally subsided, but instead, a pang of heartbreak struck him, the intense gaze from Hyunjin even more painful than before. 

Letting out an internal sigh, he straightened up and gave his best smile to Jisung as he could. “I’m Seungmin.” he said, pointedly looking away from Hyunjin’s side. Out of sight, out of mind. 

“Kim Seungmin.” 

  
  
  
  


\---

  
  
  
  


_@JYP_SKZ sent you a message._

Seungmin blinked twice at the notification on his screen, completely unsure of what a message from SKZ’s official account could possibly say. A myriad of possibilities came rushing to his mind. Maybe Hyunjin told his manager, who in turn sent JYPE’s legal team after Seungmin. Or maybe Hyunjin didn’t even need to tell them, but he had somewhere somehow messed up and revealed himself to JYPE, who was now sending him an official restraining order. The wildest of his theories was that Park Jinyoung himself was behind the message, with a string of threats against Seungmin’s life. 

His first thought is to just ignore it, hoping to delay the interaction forever. But if it really was JYP’s legal team or a restraining order, Seungmin knew pretending the message doesn’t exist could bring more harm and attention to the problem than Seungmin wanted. With this in mind, he presses on the message with shaking hands.

_Hello Seungmin-ssi. It’s Hyunjin._

His phone drops out of his hands. In all of his wildest nightmares, not one of them could have prepared him for the reality that Hyunjin himself was using his group’s twitter to send him a message.

Scrambling for his phone, he continues reading on:

_Hopefully, that message didn’t scare you away, and you are still reading this. And well, I warn you that what I’m about to say might actually scare you even more, but I really hope you read this until the very end._

_Ummm… to tell you the truth_

_I had actually kind of known you were behind this fansite before you came to the fansign._

His phone doesn’t drop this time, but his heart does. _What did Hyunjin mean?_ He forced himself to continue on.

_When the whole situation started, I went stalking on this twitter._

_I knew I shouldn’t. Everyone was telling me to just ignore the whole thing. But to be honest, I was the slightest curious, wondering if I did actually know the person behind sunshine_jin._

_I honestly don’t know all my fan sites by face, but I did know that sunshine had been posting about me for quite a while, since around predebut, and it did feel scarily odd how I never remembered their face from fansigns or other events. And with the rumors that were popping up, I also started to think the reason why they avoided seeing me face to face was because they really were my classmate._

_Call it fear, or anger, or just plain curiosity, but I wanted to know if there were clues or something that would point me to who it could possibly be._

_I didn’t actually realize though, until that day I asked you about the showcase. Your background was a picture of you and your friend Felix-ssi, right?_

_Well, when I was stalking your page, I remembered that one of the people you followed was someone named Felix Lee. I remembered this because I found it odd that a fansite would follow a private account like that, and my first thought was that Felix Lee was behind the fansite._

_But even though it was a private account, I still saw his profile picture, and had pretty much memorized his face in hopes of finding him around at our school._

_But then I saw your background instead. A part of me did try and deny it to myself, but when you explained that you guys were friends, and that Felix-ssi was a fan of ours, and I think it hit me that it was you. Of course, I didn’t really confirm it until our fansign, but I think deep down I knew it was you._

_I really shouldn’t be messaging you, and in all honesty, a part of me is still afraid about doing this, and how much trouble I could get in if anyone found out._

_But for some reason, I think I trust you. When you were talking about how you didn’t tell Felix about me, it made me realize you probably didn’t mean any harm._

_I promise I won’t tell anyone about this at all. We’re both going to graduate soon, so there’s really no reason to make a bigger deal about this than it already is. I’m going to delete these messages from my end so my manager or members won’t see. And well…_

_I guess I’m really trusting you will do the same._

_So…_

_Thank you Seungmin-ssi. For supporting me all this time._

  
  


Seungmin doesn’t answer the messages at all. He exits out, swipes left, and presses the red button. 

_Delete Conversation?_

**_Delete._ **

  
  
  
  


\---

  
  
  
  
  


The next day, sunshine_jin posts a new tweet. It’s a simple _CLOSE_ , followed with a complete wipe of all other media on their page.

There are a lot of people who celebrate this. Major SKZ fanbases consider it a win against the fight with sasaengs, that it just shows how easy it is to bully them into deactivation. Other netizens chime in with their own two cents on how toxic fangirls are, and how their love for their stars was stupid and worthless. Most are secretly glad they stopped whoever sunshine_jin was from getting Hyunjin’s attention, afraid of the fansite living out what was most fans' wildest dream of getting noticed by their idol. 

But amongst those who left celebratory emojis and messages on sunshine_jin’s page were a few comments thanking the fansite for their photos, wishing them well, and commending those who had taken the bullying to an extreme. They mention how out of all the fan sites, sunshine_jin never had hard proof of stalking Hyunjin, and only ever posted from fan allowed areas, and that sunshine_jin’s only crime was a yellow sweater on their floor, something that to this day no one even knows if it was truly a SOPA uniform. A mini battle erupts on the tweet, as both sides argue over the innocent or guilty nature of sunshine_jin’s activities. 

Seungmin hardly notices any of this. He’s too busy preparing for his submission to the art showcase, which is a series of photos featuring a faceless dancer in motion (as it turns out, Felix was correct about Minho’s background, and Seungmin manages to rope the other into his project with promises of HD’s of Changbin he had hidden in his camera roll). His other schoolwork is also taking up his time, with graduation fast approaching and the realization of the real world that awaits him coming closer. If Jeongin notices Seungmin is eating with him less - especially on days when Hyunjin is at school - he doesn’t mention it, only wishing him luck on his final exams and university applications. 

Unbeknownst to anyone however, there is another reason Seungmin is so busy. His new twitter page, ART IN MOTION, has just opened - a general account dedicated to capturing photos and videos of kpop dancers in motion, an appreciation for the art of dance that they all exude in their performance. His first post is of ITZY’s Yeji, featuring some shots he had lying around for April Fools. His second isn’t from JYP at all, but instead is a video compilation of NCT members he took at a festival that goes slightly viral and puts him on twitter radar. When he finally posts a Changbin video, darknsweet811 retweets it on his own page - drawing the attention of SKZ fans in hoards. (Minho sends Seungmin an angry emoji at this, pouting at how Seungmin couldn’t have given him the video instead). 

Idol fans flock to his page, marveling at the stylistic photographs and artistic videos, all of which seem to highlight the best dancing features of kpop idols. It even draws the attention of some brands and companies, who offer to hire him to shoot for them professionally. He considers some of them but turns down most, stating his photography skills are just for fun and his appreciation of the art of dance.

Seungmin still finds himself at festivals, butting arms with other fansites intent on just capturing the best of their own idols. This time around however, Seungmin stays for all the performances instead, his camera focused on whoever catches his eyes most with their dance. The lack of focus on one group does make it hard to gain traction, but he does amass a decent following, mostly from overseas fans who were more prone to be in multiple fandoms. Seungmin even finds himself making a small amount of profit back, selling some of his better shots in exchange for fan goods or festival tickets from fansites for various idols. 

And well, if anyone notices how similar his header image - a photo of SKZ member Hyunjin during a solo dance at a festival - is to another now-defunct fansite’s pictures, well, no one says a word.

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to add that my thoughts on the whole "fansite debate" is that fansites (and honestly, a lot of aspects of fandoms) are a double-edged sword that cannot be boiled down to right and wrong. Fandom culture can definitely get intense at times, so just remember that whenever you guys interact with any part of fandoms! Take it from someone who's been into kpop for close to 10 years now. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
